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Ryanson
My name is Jared, I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read

Ryan @Ryanson

Age 32

SCHOOL + ALSO PIZZA

oh shit i didn't fix this

Joined on 7/19/05

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Ryanson's News

Posted by Ryanson - October 25th, 2011


AND ON THE THIRD DAY THE LORD SAID "I WILL BE LESBIAN FOR YOU, YOU BLUE-HAIRED BITCH"

AND SO IT WAS DONE

AND ON THE THIRD DAY


Posted by Ryanson - October 17th, 2011


Do you like Ang Lee because he's Asian?

Or like Hollywood, because it's in California?

Can you even pronounce "California"?

Do you like obscure Candian Filipino rappers?

Have you been to China? And decided to talk about OVER AND OVER AND OVER?

Have you ever had problems at the passport office?

Do you feel the need to bring up race or ethnicity in each of your threads?

If you experience any or all of these problems, you might just be EddyFromEEnE. And boy do I feel sorry for ya, bruh.


Posted by Ryanson - September 6th, 2011


Because I can.

And wanted to.

So that game I was making, I thought making a mixtape for the game and characters would help me.

Still determining if success.

...fuck those advertisements.

Here you go at any rate.

Game theme
Scarab
Mechabloby
Gagsy
GiantDouche
EyeLovePoozy
Jedi-Master
WadeFulp
InsertFunnyUserName
Bahamut
Cootie
Piss
Narcissy
MuyBurrito/GoodFish
ChrisLoveJoy/Tummbumm
MoriChax
Ptero
Twilight/Bees
WeHaveFreshCookies
Irrelephant


Posted by Ryanson - August 9th, 2011


Looking back... I think I rather enjoyed the movies more than the books.

Not to say that the movies are perfect or that the books aren't magic beyond magic. I even admit to having read the books solely to watch the movies. I don't know, there's just something about the films that strongly affected, answer still affects me.

I feel so strongly about this that I'm willing to defend them. Not just why I prefer them, but any and all adaptational changes or problems you or others may have.

With a BLOG

:O

(Any problems you may have with the books, though, are your own and not eligible for debate)

So go on, Newgrounds. Try me.


Posted by Ryanson - July 12th, 2011


I'm always getting into random musicians.

A while back it was (ick) Insane Clown Posse.

Before that, I was checking out Elvis..

...along with Arcade Fire.

System of a Down some time before...

Missy Elliott....

I've also been wanting to get into Rilo Kiley lately.

Kanye West was definitely on this list.

Rage Against the Machine too ugh I need to stop.

Today, it's MC Hammer.

Weird, huh?

I need more.


Posted by Ryanson - June 18th, 2011


both have kick-ass sigs.

Admire the artwork, and request your own in the Sig Request Club.

Also I typed this on my Wii. Go me!


Posted by Ryanson - May 25th, 2011


American Idol is easily one of the most popular shows on television, and it's not difficult to understand why -- there's nothing else on. At all.

Okay, there's probably more to it than that. Those kids and their damn drugs.

First, a quick skim through history: American Idol was created based on a similar British show, Pop Idol. Using the idea of the show and combining several elements and concepts from other competition and reality shows, the two producers (Simons Fuller and Cowell) sold the format, renamed "American Idol: The Search for a Superstar, " to the only company that showed interest in it.

It, of course, became a summer smash.

There was certainly a breath of fresh air in its earlier seasons, with the judges' personalities complementing one another and the huge amount of discovered talent on constant display. Plus, and get this -- you could VOTE for who you wanted to win! It was a show made for the audience, for constant engagement in a game they actually had say in. It was for the players of the game, to prove to themselves and everyone else that they had what it takes.to make or break them. It was for AMERICA, to give us the idols we wanted as opposed to what critics suggested we need.

As the show went, more and more networks caught a sight of Idol's success and molded their own show out of it. The formula was simple -- it's a contest, right? And there is this likable, borderline douchebag host. These three judges who critque the performances, each one having to be either crazy, British, black, female, or somewhat interesting. The viewers get to vote on the winner, and blah blah blah. Yeah, turns out American Idol was a trendsetter.

But as time wore on... well, it got a little stale. The premise was tired and overdone by that point, since EVERY OTHER SHOW basically ripped off the same format a billion times over. Idol tried its damndest to stay relevant -- you don't become #1 for 6 years straight for nothing! Guest appearances, special performances, charities, controversies, it's all been done over and over the last 10 years. And... who cares? While there are still the devoted, the hardcore, the addicted, there people who say that somehow it's lost its way. Can you name more than a handful of contestants from the last few years?

Exactly.

Personally, I don't even remember who won last year. It was a blond guy who sung a U2 song, that's it. And I have families who pay attention, how do I not know this?! I'm certain after this summer, I'll forget who was even ON this season. Even the cute ones.

Aaaand that's reason enough for me. You see, tonight as the 10th season draws to a close (a season I hear from as far back as '05 may be its last), I'm going to (sorta) take a look back and remember some of the most noteworthy characters who broke through because of this phenomenon

This... is American Idol.

Kelly Clarkson
And we start with the first ever winner, Ms. Independent herself. The luckiest girl-next-door ever. She's may still be the most successful Idol graduate to date, having two of her four albums becoming bona-fide successes and dozens of hit singles safely tucked under her belt. Hell, she's even made an "artist's album" to sort-of kind-of break away her record label. Easily her highest point, though, was 2005's "Since U Been Gone," a not-quite break-up anthem that rang out to popsters and hipsters alike. She sure has come a long way since "From Justin to Kelly." Eh, at least she's not Justin Guarini.

Ryan Seacrest
The important of host Ryan Seacrest cannot be understated. Who else can smirk that smirk when he has to put off the results for the umpteenth time because there's a "message fro the sponsers?" Okay, so "Seacrest, out" is a lame catchphrase. But still, there had to be a reason why the other original host disappeared to make room for Ryan, full time. He's a pretty busy guy, since he makes time for not just AI, but radio gigs and E! News. It's easy to fall in love with him, because he's fallen for himself too. (Also, I love his voice)

Simon Cowell
Of the original judges, Simon always stood out. He was the anti-Seacrest, the REAL reason people tuned in. "Talent, shmalent -- let's hear what that Cowell guy has to say next!" Simon Cowell was one of the producers of the show (also, interesting to me, he produced the original Power Rangers theme -- whoa), and his way with words -- blunt, to the point, sometimes even insulting -- made wonderful "controversy" in the news. If another show had a British judge, more than likely they'd try to have their own Simon. With extra "asshole" added to the mix. He left after the 9th season, but don't worry America. He'll be back this fall. You know, in yet another show where he critically judges wanna-be singing stars. Hmm. He needs a new line of business.

Carrie Underwood
The second biggest star to come from Idol, and really. Look at her. Listen to her. is it really that surprising? America loves country music (or do we?) and cuties who sing said country music. That she's blond doesn't hurt a bit. Three albums in, she's still on top of the country charts and has had just enough crossover success to still be relevant. While her biggest hits come from her fiery feminine side (also, I swear they sound extremely similar), she's still got a tenderness that comes out in songs like "Jesus, Take the Wheel" and "All-American Girl." Also, she's married to a hockey player. Badass.

Chris Daughtry
The biggest guys from season 5 wasn't "Soul Patrol" Taylor Hicks. No, he didn't make us proud. It was instead bald (okay, shaved) rocker Chris Daughtry, who with help from his label pulled together a band under the pseudonym of his last name. He worked with some of his rock heroes and was able to craft a sound *just* rocking enough, *just* charming enough, *just* cheesy enough to appeal to about everyone. Of course, he's only two albums in... and already he's run out of tricks. Will he evolve his sound, or will he continue to dish out the same ole' music he's always done? Only time will tell.

Ellen DeGeneres
Paula Abdul was crazy. Way too crazy. And Kara was just boring. It was season 9, and we needed another breath of fresh air to liven up the damp spirits of Idol. Enter Ellen DeGeneres. She was already a bright-eyed hit on her own talk show, and had a pretty busy career over the last decade and beyond (you may know her best as Dory from Finding Nemo). Her wit, contrasted with Simon's bitterness, made for Screw the competition -- we turned into this weekly Super Bowl for what was in between the action. Sadly, she left after this one season because it "didn't fit her right." Boo. If we ever want to come this close to Idol greatness again... we need Oprah for season 11.

Jordin Sparks
Partway through the sixth season of American Idol, Jordin Sparks pulled out a heated, melodramatic performance that helped the spunky teenager pull apart from the bland pack. Before then, Sparks had seemed like little more than an enthusiastic amateur, a teenager who loved to put on a show. Turns out, she was Idol material. She was the youngest winner, until this season. She made a decent sized splash on the charts upon entry, and while she hasn't quite disappeared yet... her... spark's.... fizzling out? Hahaha. Haha. Ha.

Davids Cook and Archuleta
Season seven had some big scores and big bores, but nothing was more astonishing than the two Davids going head to head. David Cook, a singer-songwriter who was just waiting for a big break, and David Archuleta, a fresh-faced youth who charmed the hearts of tween girls worldwide (think... Bieber fever), were fierce competitors all season long. The finale results, and subsequent reactions, was probably one of the biggest. And that both Davids were equally successful is no small fear either. But... c'mon. Cook is totally a cheater. He recorded an album before Idol. Let the underdog win for once, bro :(

Stephen Tyler
This season is so bland. I mean, it's all well and good and almost interesting, but my God. The judges aren't even trying! Randy Jackson traded in his "dawg-to-dawg" honesty for "yeah, yeah, you were real tight dawg" on some sloppy karaoke failures. Jennifer Lopez, back in the spotlight for the first time in ever, is trying desperately to be liked by everyone and falls each time. The only reason to watch anymore is the underdog, the one no one thought would be any good -- Aerosmith frontman Stephen Tyler. His eccentricities, his way with words, make him likable. He'll sing right alongside you during the auditions, and he'll tell you if you suck or not. Simon Cowell he's not, but then again why would you want him to be?

Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken
Ruben Studdard was a husky gentlemen who could SSSAAANNNGGGG. He was the first black male (first black AND first male, too) to win Idol, but... he disappeared shortly after. He made a cameo in Scooby-Doo 2, had a day named after him in his hometown, was nominated for an award with his idol... but he was pretty much gone before he started. His runner-up, Clay, faired slightly better. He literally came out of the closet on the last episode, and moved on to Broadway since then. I personally think it's only fair to remember this pair together... take that as you will.

Jennifer Hudson
She never won American Idol, but she's made a name for herself and the show. She's had hit albums, hit movies (with Beyonce, OMG), become a spokesperson for Weight Watchers, AND has earned the title of "friend" from President Obama. That's she's gone through personal tragedy and come out the other side makes her all the more admirable.

Adam Lambert
Kris Allen may have won, may have had some pretty early adult alternative success, but he hasn't left that much of an impression in the long run. But Adam Lambert has. He's over-the-top in the best way possible, he's glam, he's rockin', he's absolutely FABULOUS. He's only controversial because people need controversy. Oh well, big deal. Listen to him sing. He's the reason American Idol exists.

William Hung
Who cares if he's a slightly-racist novelty act? Pfft, as if there were any other kind. Sing your heart out, Hung!! That's why we love ya!! "SHE BANG, SHE BANG... OH BABY, SHE MOO, SHE MOO"

EDIT: Congrats, Scotty. No surprise. Also, wtf am I doing paying attention to Idol?


Posted by Ryanson - May 25th, 2011


Only faggots drink that slushy horse cum.

I liked it better when it was good, oh wait it wasn't.


Posted by Ryanson - May 15th, 2011


OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM

Also, I'm back and I challenged Poozy. Idk. HARRY POTTER IS ALL THAT MATTERS


Posted by Ryanson - April 11th, 2011


So like I can barely get on the Internet. I'm lucky to be on right now.

I'll be writing stuff. Recording stuff. Maybe. Idk, I'll update.

If you want to get in contact with me, PM me here or add me on Facebook.