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Ryan @Ryanson

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oh shit i didn't fix this

Joined on 7/19/05

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Ryanson's News

Posted by Ryanson - June 2nd, 2010

Newgrounds: the problems of the future, today!...or so it used to be.

A few years ago, the founder of Newgrounds, Tom Fulp, decided to change what made Newgrounds great -- cartoon porn and endless violence, mostly -- and make it a place for "everything by everyone." A place where man and machine and creature alike could coexist "peacefully" without (much) hate. Anyone who didn't like these new rules were eventually kicked out, or ignored, or worse: blammed straight to the next dimension. It was the closest thing to a utopia the Interwebz had, and though it prospered many longed for the days of old.

2010, the year where a "chat" bar was rumored to finally be completed. The first of these to be unleashed to an unsuspecting public was Poder Opunk's "Radio Chat," where he DJ'd local music and allowed people to interact in entire new ways. It was met with much success, and yet... unknown to the public, a group began to collect themselves, to operate, to plan...

Led by Poder's left-hand man Jacob, the team call themselves the Stuffies. They plan to bring Newgrounds back to its glory days, back to when the problems of the future really WERE today. And so they call out for any Stuffies remaining in the world, assemble!! "MAGNITUDE!!!"

Or in their own words... "SHUT THE FUCK YELLOWWWW!!"


And so the day finally came. Jacob decided when better to attack then now? They wanted to strike fast and hard. After laughing due to their dirty minds, they left... but where they chose to reconvene probably wasn't that smart of a choice.

As they enter the portal, a robot the color of blood walked up to them, almost calmly.

"What are users do here?" a robot voice buzzed.

The Stuffies had accidently teleported to the outskirts of Newgrounds, at the Portal.

The Portal is where flash, the lifeforce of Newgrounds, enters in (whether of its own accord or through a powerful user's extra reserves). There are a select few who are apart of the Blam Squad, whose job is to blam bad flash to the next dimension. Some times bad flash gets in anyway, and if its powerful it can even make a completely new being. Few people have seen this Portal in person, though. Even fewer know who is guardians are.

But this day, the Stuffies learned who .

"Five seconds to reveal your identities, or you will be blammed."

It was P-Bot.


But before the battle can begn... we need to know a little about our heroes, hmm? There are many more besides these, but to begin...

Horripilated, also responsive to Horri, Rip or "Hey you!", is the token nut job of the Stuffies gang. Content to sit in the corner and play with dismembered shadow puppets, she will, however, run to the aid of other Stuffies in a heartbeat with the dexterity of a ninja-robot hybrid type thing if they look to be being threatened by others. Apparently she is married to multiple other clan members, but this is just a nasty rumour.

Ryan Son, the ginger ninja himself, is an odd cookie. He claims everyone is his lover, claims to be Tyler Perry and Meg Ryan (on a good day), and is just plain... weird. Obsessed with music, this flamboyant ninja probably would be a good ninja if he kept to himself more often. That said, he's still one of the best around, able to use all of those stereotypical ninja powers you see on TV. Watch out!

Server is server. He is everything and all things and nothing and no single thing. Password: Jslight4. Server is.

Next in line is Kyosuga, known as Kyo to his closest friends. Thing is, no one wants to be close enough to be his friend. A young soldier straight from the Phillipines, he's cold and heartless to all who cross his path. Thing is, most everyone crosses his path. Try not to cross his path.

Julian is the sensitive artist of the Stuffies. No one can draw an erect penis as detailed as he! Original just used as "filler" when one of the members was a no-show, his curiosity, naivity, and overall Denmark stench was just what the group needed! Always a fun laugh (and somehow able to bring his drawings to life), Julian will definitely make you wish you had... an artist's touch!

The Scary Squirrel King, aka Squizzle, is a small and surprisingly deadly squirrel, ally to the Stuffies... even if he thinks that "squirrel" is a much higher honour than the rank of "Stuffie" thus hangs around them and helps them when he isn't spreading chaos and disorder elsewhere using completely squirrelly means (that's right. He uses his nuts).

There is a user who has no name. This lack of a name has mutated him, as has the constant experiments by the Mod Squad. This being with a Missing Username was originally a raptor... but a raptor with a NAME. But the Mod Squad made him into something he's not: an alien ninja cyborg. With a FUCKING MOUSTACHE. Still trapped in a raptor's body though, he has become confused... which explains his choice to side with the Stuffies. Who would have guessed it?

Sammi (known affectionately as Samwise) likes piggy-back-rides and Ja-- I MEAN. A certain boy. Yeah. Formerly just a girl, she's one of the few users the Fulps have experimented on and lived to tell the tale. She's now the self-appointed Queen of the Stuffies (and not just for revenge >.>) and when in doubt, she'll laugh. Or squeal. Or something... whatever it does it makes you HEAD explode. But I'm sure you'd rather experience that then her titanium ass on your neck. THOSE PIGGY BACK RIDES HURT.

Yes, on the ground. That's pie. That's a pie. A blueberry pie. He's delicious. Why the hell a pie is a Stuffie, no one knows. But he kicks your ass, that's for sure!

Jacob's second in command, Gekson was formerly the manager of a restaurant. However, when everything else changed in Newgrounds, so did his restauraunt: it became McDonald's (OH NO!!). Gekson didn't know what to do; doing the restaurant his way, he was able to watch funny shows on television and be able to keep his money. But now that it was out of his hands, he fell into an unnatural depression... until he met up with Jacob at the Radio Chat Bar. With new dreams of change and revolution, he is now second-in-command for the Stuffies... and he's ready to kick some ass.

Posted by Ryanson - May 26th, 2010

I think the title describes this playlist just fine. Here are some morning motivators for you to wake up to, since coffee sucks.

U2 -- "Beautiful Day"
The Rolling Stones -- "Start Me Up"
Madonna -- "4 Minutes (feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland)"
Feist -- "1234"
No Doubt -- "Hella Good"
Cake --"The Distance"
Everclear -- "Santa Monica"
Phantom Planet -- "California"
Weezer -- "Island in the Sun"
The Bangles -- "Manic Monday"
The Go-Go's -- "We Got the Beat"
Beck -- "Timebomb"
The LA's -- "There She Goes"
Blur -- "There's No Other Way"
Justice -- "D.A.N.C.E."
The Roots & Cody Chestnutt --"The Seed (2.0)"
MGMT -- "Time to Pretend"
The Polyphonic Spree -- "Light & Day/Reach for the Sun"
Kris Kross -- "Jump"
Spacehog -- "In the Meantime"
The Sugarhill Gang -- "Rapper's Delight"
Paramore -- "That's What You Get"
Maroon 5 -- "Won't Go Home Without You"
Lupe Fiasco -- "Superstar"
Duffy -- "Mercy"

Yeah, there's no metal. I refuse to put crap in my playlists... ahaha, just kidding. If there are any songs you know I'm forgetting, leave a comment!

Posted by Ryanson - May 17th, 2010

Hey! You!! That past workout list not manly enough for ya? Need something with more "ugh!" in it? Say no more!! Here's a pure alternative playlist, as opposed to those mainstream bubblegum techno workout playlists. You may celebrate.

Nirvana -- "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
New Order -- "Blue Monday"
White Zombie -- "More Human Than Human"
Beck -- "Sexx Laws"
Arctic Monkeys -- "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor"
Le Tigre -- "Deceptacon"
Hot Chip -- "Over and Over"
M.I.A. -- "Bucky Done Gun"
Dizzee Rascal -- "Fix Up, Look Sharp"
Blur -- "Girls & Boys"
Tokyo Police Club -- "Be Good"
The Jesus and Mary Chain -- "Reverence"
Daft Punk -- "Daftendirekt"
Tom Tom Club -- "Genius of Love"
Sublime -- "What I Got"

Posted by Ryanson - May 12th, 2010

The last decade was quite the trip, wasn't it? And to keep with my theme of "workout" playlists, here's a playlist for the new millenium (previous decade). No real wit to accompany this one.
Yes I admit this playlist may not be for you. Few real "power" songs, and in their place are mostly sugary, mainstream pop songs. But I say, a little sugar is good for the body :)

Black Eyed Peas -- "Let's Get It Started"
Christina Aguilera -- "Fighter"
Madonna (feat.Justin Timberlake & Timbaland) -- "4 Minutes"
Eminem -- "Lose Yourself"
The Ting Tings -- "That's Not My Name"
Britney Spears -- "Toxic"
Fat Joe and Nelly -- "Get it Poppin'"
Gorillaz -- "Feel Good Inc."
The Strokes -- "Last Nite"
Kinky -- "Más"
Wolfmother -- "Woman"
Trick Daddy -- "Let's Go"
Incubus -- "Megalomaniac"
Andrew W.K. -- "Party Hard"
U2 -- "Elevation"
Kanye West -- "Stronger"
Nina Sky -- "Move Ya Body"
Arctic Monkeys -- "I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor"

Posted by Ryanson - March 23rd, 2010

Time for another Infinite Playlist!

Ok, Newgrounds doesn't necessarily like country music (or so I think). Still, some people like to think of themselves as "country boys" and "country girls." And they need to keep working at it if they wanna fit in those boot-cut jeans. So here's some music of all sorts for that Country Workout you most desperately need.

Keith Urban -- "Days Go By"
Gretchen Wilson -- "All Jacked Up"
Josh Gracin -- "Nothin' To Lose"
Rascal Flatts -- "Life Is A Highway"
Josh Turner -- "Firecracker"
Carlene Carter -- "Every Little Thing"
Tracy Lawrence -- "If the Good Die Young"
Carrie Underwood -- "All-American Girl"
Daryle Singletary -- "Too Much Fun"
Neal McCoy -- "The Shake"
Clint Black -- "Summer's Comin'"
Charlie Daniels -- "Drinkin' My Baby Goodbye"
Sugarland -- "Something More"
Tanya Taylor -- "It's A Little Too Late"
Lorrie Morgan -- "Watch Me"
Tracy Bird -- "Watermelon Crawl"
Shania Twain -- "Up!"
Montgomery Gentry -- "Hillbilly Shoes"
Craig Morgan -- "Little Bit of Life"
Lonestar -- "What About Now"
Sawyer Brown -- "The Race Is On"

At least Taylor Swift isn't in the playlist. <3
: Thanks Blender, iTunes, Allmusic Guide, Spin, Rolling Stone, and Youtube's own MusicTuesdays... for not suing me :3

Posted by Ryanson - February 25th, 2010

Chances are, if you're on Newgrounds... you're worse than me, and I'm about the size of the average American, maybe a tad better.

Just kidding about the whole "worse than me" thing. <3

For the ones that do workout, I've applied my music genius to make a wonderful playlist for you to workout to. Whether you're ready to conquer the world or you just need one final push, here are some songs that should make you sweat, flex, and shake your body's muscles.

Heart -- "Barracuda"
Run-DMC -- "Walk This Way"
OutKast -- "Hey Ya!"
Bruce Springsteen -- "Born to Run"
Metallica -- "Enter Sandman"
U2 -- "Elevation"
Iggy Pop --"Lust for Life"
Muse -- "Uprising"
Parliament -- "Flashlight"
Led Zeppelin -- "Rock and Roll"
Usher -- "Yeah!"
LL Cool J -- "Rock the Bells"
Prodigy -- "Firestarter"
Cypress Hill -- "(Rock) Superstar"
Deep Purple -- "Highway Star"
Young MC -- "Bust A Move"
Incubus -- "Megalomaniac"
The Strokes -- "Juicebox"
Disturbed -- "Down With the Sickness"
Foreigner --"Hot Blooded"
Onyx -- "Slam"
Christina Aguilera -- "Fighter"
Orianthi -- "According to You"
Moby -- "Bodyrock"
Kevin Rudolf -- "Let It Rock"
Smash Mouth -- "All Star"

So. Yeah. That's a lot. You'll need it all, though, even if you won't admit it.

Posted by Ryanson - November 13th, 2009

I've put together a soundtrack for studying. Most of Newgrounds is 12+ and into metal, so more than likely this list will suck. But for those into easy-listening, yet adventurous music, not as loud but just as good, here's the good stuff.

Vampire Weekend -- "Campus"
Spoon -- "My Mathematical Mind"
Wilco -- "Impossible Germany"
The Decemberists -- "O Valencia!"
Stars -- "My Favourite Book"
Broken Social Scene -- "Cause=Time"
Sun Kil Moon -- "Neverending Math Equation"
Rogue Wave -- "Punish My Love"
The Mommyheads -- "Help Me"
Chad VanGaalen -- "Inside the Molecules"
Sloan -- "Listen to the Radio"
Bonnie "Prince" Billy -- "Love Comes to Me"
Fleet Foxes -- "Mykonos"
Spiritualized -- "Soul on Fire"
Arcade Fire -- "The Well and the Lighthouse"

Download these brainpower-boosting beats and let those mental muscles flex.

Posted by Ryanson - November 5th, 2009

Halloween has come and gone. So now for some costume showing-off...ing.

Rorschach is the badass from the Watchmen. Doesn't hurt that he's a red head too.

I'm not as skinny as he though. I also rushed when I put the costume on in the back room, which is why it seems bleh.
But here's anice shot of most of the people at work, in costume.
((Betcha half of ya aren't even gonna be paying attention to my costume ;) ))