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Ryanson
My name is Jared, I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read

Ryan @Ryanson

Age 33

SCHOOL + ALSO PIZZA

oh shit i didn't fix this

Joined on 7/19/05

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Ryanson's News

Posted by Ryanson - September 23rd, 2010


I'll take my Potter with a side of awesome, k thnx.

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Posted by Ryanson - September 21st, 2010


I recorded a song.

I want someone to use it in a flash. I really do. Seriously. Do it.


Posted by Ryanson - September 18th, 2010


Like your hip-hop with a hint of alternative... rock? How about a side of classic 90s singer? The hype couldn't kill this rapper, and I think you guys should fucking watch this video to see why.

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Posted by Ryanson - September 17th, 2010


Fall -- three months of the year where it's not too hot, but not too cold. The leaves are changing (figuratively and physically), and it's time to chillax, but not too much. We still got things to do before it gets cold outside.

What makes this season stand out from the others? It's when football begins, when the kids mumble as they go back to school (as do the teachers), and when those shows we like make their triumphant return. Duh.

And like the summer before it, autumn deserves its own soundtrack, don't you agree? Probably not. But I'm keeping on with this once-a-season playlist -- and here it is. Pretend to enjoy :)
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Ashlee Simpson -- Pieces of Me
Yeah, Mrs. Fall-Out-Boy is known more for her failed lip-sync than she was for her actual music. But believe it or not, Jessica Simpson's more talented sister delivered on this adult contemporary hit.

Act of Congress -- Five Minutes of Fame
Everyone wants five minutes of fame, and few express it better than this unknown quasi-country group -- especially when they recreate a Michael Jackson classic for five seconds.

Black Eyed Peas -- Now Generation
They traded in their hip-hop roots for pop on each new album, but they'll never give up their love for anthems. The E.N.D. was filled to the brim with them, and few are catchier than this song about the "now generation."

P!nk -- Please Don't Leave Me
The most 80's song she's done yet, in music and lyrics. But the biggest secret in this song? Pink doesn't want you to leave her. Not ever.

Be Your Own Pet -- Black Hole
Tennessean punk? It shouldn't exist -- BYOP's break-up proved that. But for the four years they were around... well. Not all of their songs were about going on a killing spree out of boredom. But this one is. And it's awesome.

Neon Trees -- Animal
In almost every way, this indie-pop/rocker sounds like a reject from the Twilight Saga's soundtrack -- or was it because it's too good?The Killers like them enough. Who are we to disagree?

Hey Monday -- I Don't Wanna Dance
It starts off almost like Buffy meets Twilight, but then the beat kicks in and you think "If Paramore can be successful, why can't her poppier little sister?" (Note: the two lead singers, while hot, are not related).

Stars -- My Favourite Book
There have been songs made for every time and every mood. If the title didn't give it away, this is the song to listen to when you want to curl up with a good book. Pick one up today.

Priscilla Renea -- Dollhouse
Hard to say if this song is too pop for this not-diva. But if you wanted to dance while you told off your man, congratulations: this is your jam. Now whoop their ass.

The Rescues -- Break Me Out
This song could be a modern classic, if such a term existed -- four-part harmonies, pop-guitar aesthetics, and memorable contemporary production. The 2010 hit that never was.

Ne-Yo -- Beautiful Monster
Michael may be gone, but if one thing is for sure it's that his ghost lives on. As Ne-Yo struts his stuff, the world breaks down around him -- and he STILL makes it out alive.

Black Label Society -- In This River
Zakk Wylde never wrote this song for anyone, but with Dimebag Darrell's tragic passing, this became a reminder of greatness -- a tender song with an exciting solo. Metalheads, put your weepy eyes on.

Rilo Kiley -- Portions For Foxes
Indie music's darling, singing a song about sex and lust. No wonder this song was such a success.

Trailer Choir -- Rockin' the Beer Gut
Country music fans sure know how to rock the beer gut -- and accept all those who do. So why not make a song about it?

Farewell to Freeway -- Portrait
Metal? On my playlist? Of course -- when the intro is so quiet, when the vocals are so throat-sheering, when the whole thing sounds like a mess but still turns out memorable, why not?

Cyndi Lauper -- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
To wash down all that metal, some 80's pop from Madonna's former fiery-haired rival. Again, why not? It's so much fun.

Iron & Wine -- Boy with a Coin
Sam Bean is as fashionable as freak-folk gets. But okay, this song is freaky in it's accessibility -- steady hand-claps, and temple-thumping drums, and easy-to-sway-to guitar.

Arcade Fire -- Ready to Start
Streamlined, ornate, expansive -- what else is new? Indie-torchbearers Arcade Fire have always been this way, but on this standout track from their newest release they simplify things... sort of.

K'naan -- Wavin' Flag (Coca-Cola Celebration Mix)
You think American rappers have it bad? This Somalian-born rapper may have something to say about that -- this Coca-Cola-sponsored remix made specifically for the World Cup. Now sing-along, all together now...

Creed -- Hide
Remember when Creed used to be the biggest band in the world? So do I. While one can be forgiven for dwelling on their oh-so prominent Christian themes, this non-single remains a great reason to remember them fondly.

t.A.T.u. -- All the Things She Said
Russian lesbian dance-pop? No way! Great way to end an (almost) eclectic mix of songs -- catchy, poppy, mainstream, successful. Plus, I mean... they're super hot. Icing on the cake, man.


Posted by Ryanson - September 11th, 2010


(American) football's been on for a few weeks now, and for the fans it's one of the greatest sports ever. Because it's all about the action, from kick-off to every two-minute warning to overtime! When it's time to score some touchdowns, here are the (obvious) anthems (and some comedy routines?) to get stoked to.

Hank Williams Jr. -- All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over for Monday Night Football
Queen -- We Will Rock You
Gary Glitter -- Rock 'n' Roll (Part 2)
Tag Team -- Whoomp! There It Is
The J. Geils Band -- Freeze-Frame
Bon Jovi -- Livin' On a Prayer
Europe -- The Final Countdown
Bill Cosby -- Football
George Carlin -- Baseball-Football
The All-Star Marching Band -- When the Saints Go Marchin' In
Johnny Pearson -- Heavy Action
University of Notre Dame Band of the Fighting Irish -- Notre Dame Victory March - Fight Song
The Ramones -- Blitzkrieg Bop
Elvis Costello -- Pump It Up

Like this list? Think I missed a few critical songs? Leave your comments!


Posted by Ryanson - September 9th, 2010


I finally found one. I won the game, little missie.

And I have to say... it wasn't that bad. I finished 3 minutes before the movie ended, and I still wanted to keep going. If I were Superman, I'd have kept on.

However, I have to say that your moans were more high pitched that I thought you capable of. But considering you were basically defining the term "scissor sisters," it's not like you were alone. She was a cutie, too. What was her name? And by the way, how much did you get paid? Looked cheaply made -- I'm hoping it was still a decent amount.

Honestly, I'm just glad that you enjoyed yourself. Hopefully I'll find the rest of yours. And to keep things fair, I won't show anyone that video. I alone found it, so I alone win :)

EDIT: UNLESS. We get 100 different people to comment this. Then I'll share. Cuz sharing is caring. [/edit]

And now here's a sexy song to have some sexy sex to. Smooth, passionate, hot. "Secret" by Maroon 5.

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Your move, Supernova.


Posted by Ryanson - August 24th, 2010


Avatar.

No, not the hit Nickelodeon animated series turned into a failure of a movie by M. Night Shymalan (the less said about that, the better). No, when I say Avatar I speak of James Cameron's blue aliens. I mean the movie that, with brilliant use of CGI, created breathtakingly beautiful scenery and people who were once mistaken for giant Smurfs (a comparison I only wish were true -- a Smurfs movie is coming 2011). I mean Disney's Pocahontas... in space (thank you Ashley Farrell, though you're not the first to say so).

Avatar is constantly referred to (in it's over 9000 commercials) as the "biggest movie of all time," and there's no denying that it's been a HUGE success, both critically and commercially. Though it's certainly a triumph of style over substance, of the visual medium over the important things like "story" and "character development" (as are many other fantastical epics -- Conan the Barbarian, anyone?), there's no denying the huge impact it has made on popular culture already, not even a year since it's original release.

Star Wars.

When I say that, there are a number of things that could come to mind -- all of them under the same banner, the same saga. The original films, the special editions, the prequels, the animated series (plural), the Extended Universe books, games, and comics, the *gag* Christmas special. If there is any series that had an impact on the way the world sees science-fiction, it is Star Wars (sorry, Trekkies -- no disrespect).

The reason both were brought up is that recently there have been people making comparisons between the two-- specifically, stating that Avatar is or will be this generation's Star Wars.

To those devoted to the Star Wars faith, or even those who see Avatar as the overrated self-indulgent film that it is, this is blasphemy of the worst kind. Though personally I found the idea intriguing, most people are finding it to be... untrue, put kindly.

But why?

Well of course there are the differences, age being one of the most obvious. While Avatar has not even been out a year, Star Wars has been in existence for over 30 -- more than enough time to allow a classic status to have taken hold. And while the blue-man movie only has 150 minutes to its name, Star Wars has two entire trilogies, several side-story movies, dozens of books and games to its name. In terms of story? Forget about it -- Avatar is probably the farthest from Star Wars sci-fi can get.

But the similarities? Some people seem to forget about those. Whoops.

Forget that both had some gaping holes in their stories and moments of weak characterization -- that's too easy. And it's a given that both are sci-fi epics with devoted fan bases. But that both James Cameron and George Lucas have taken influences from all around and mixed them together to create these worlds is pretty big. Both movies have had successful re-releases (well, Avatar is ABOUT to have a re-release). Both Star Wars and Avatar mix the futuristic, the mechanical and the natural. And if there's a conflict between them... nature wins, in the end (Return of the Jedi had the Ewoks, Avatar has its Na'vi).

Worth noting is that while Avatar was released in both 2D AND 3D, Star Wars has only been released in 2D.... but rumors of a final, ultimate 3D release have been around for Lord knows how long. Take this as you will.

Similarities and differences aside, what determines if a movie is a classic is if it has a lasting influence in its field of entertainment, if it has a lasting impact on pop culture -- if it captures an audience's imagination. And for every bit of success Avatar has had, for all the innovations in its CGI technology, there have been critics and haters with numerous reasons of complaint. This is nothing new -- even classics like Star Wars, for all the innovation and success, have their share. It's certainly not a bad thing; if anything, it lets you touch the untouchable. It makes its mystique less impressive. It proves that it is but a human creation, with human-made flaws.

Needless to say, it's far too early to determine if Avatar has the longevity required to truly be this generation's Star Wars -- in fact, if it weren't for the re-release, some people might have forgotten about Avatar's existence. The comparison just happened to cross my ears and capture my attention when I heard, in passing, a father relating his own experience to his son's excitement. But don't let that stop you -- if you feel strongly about this, then by all means express yourself! I'd love nothing more!


Posted by Ryanson - August 24th, 2010


The time has finally come. The kids are now allowed to panic. The teenagers are allowed to groan. The adults are allowed to not care because more-likely than not, it doesn't affect them. It's time... to go back to school.

AAAAAHHHHH.

Yeah, that kind of sucks for you. But it's okay. Though things may change -- you being a year older, meeting new people and conquering new challenges -- good music never changes (okay, we'll talk the technicalities later). That said, here is a fine collection of (classic) albums for all you going back to school. To, you know, get you in the spirit.

The Jam -- All Mod Cons
Pavement -- Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
The Velvet Underground -- Loaded
Television -- Marquee Moon
Beck -- Odelay
The Smiths -- The Queen is Dead
The Ramones -- Rock 'N' Roll High School
Pink Floyd -- Dark Side of the Moon
U2 -- The Joshua Tree
The Velvet Underground -- The Velvet Underground
Pink Floyd -- The Wall
Violent Femmes -- Violent Femmes
Dinosaur Jr. -- You're Living All Over Me
Eels -- Beautiful Freak


Posted by Ryanson - August 10th, 2010


First. I'm interviewing Songs to Wear Pants To at 2 (1 pm my time). I can't wait!

Second. This. A DJ Earworm mash-up, and a damn good one. I think of it as an early present -- the United State of Pop 2010 shouldn't be here til December.

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Posted by Ryanson - August 4th, 2010


It's that time of the year again -- where the pinnacle of popular music and music videos known as the MTV Video Music Awards comes out of its hibernation.

Ever since it began in 1984, the VMAs come out near the end of summer to celebrate all things MTV stands for: the music videos. But in today, what could that mean? As the last decade has come and gone, so have most of the music videos. MTV is no longer about the music -- reality shows, created for and fed to the lowest common denominator, have taken up most of the programming block. Not to say that MTV is no longer music oriented... it's just less of a priority than some other reality shows that barely a fraction of us care about (you've heard it before -- It's Music Television, without the music).

Of special note is though the playlist's time has shortened, the playlist itself has somewhat (keyword) expanded. No longer is it just the rock, pop, and hip-hop of yesteryear -- indie music (although technically still seen as alternative music) has made its way into the hearts and minds of our iPod generation. Feist's iPod song that had everyone singing along in 2007 was only the beginning; within the last year, Phoenix, The Temper Trap, and Florence + the Machine have invaded America's speaker systems, as well as our iPods. Bands like Muse have invaded the movies ( a gift from the Twilight Saga, no less) while even groups such as Vampire Weekend and MGMT have the MTV blogs on standby.

The MTV Video Music Awards are notable each year not for the awards themselves but for having quite a bit of controversy and awe surrounding the shows, most of which I am too young to have seen myself. For example, 1984 introduced an innocent America to the pop-titan known as Madonna who wanted us to take her like a virgin whether she was or not. In the early '90s, Nirvana and Guns 'N Roses had a bit of a rivalry going on -- Kurt Cobain spat on the keys of a piano he though Axl Rose would be playing. How horrified he was to find that Elton John was the man behind the instrument! And when the mothers of both the Tupac and Biggie came onstage together to give an award, how can you not feel the love?

To put it in more recent terms, Britney Spears' big comeback in '07 turned out to be a huge flop (put kindly). Did anyone predict her to rise like the phoenix she was all along in 2008? What about Russell Brand taking a crack at the JoBros' purity rings that brought her the scorn of American Idol winner Jordin Sparks? And last year, remember when Kanye took away Taylor Swift's big moment by proclaiming that Beyonce's "Single Ladies" (which would later take Video of the Year) the best video of all time? When the President of the United States calls you a jackass, you think you may have done something wrong? (Though when Taylor won almost every other award that year -- ending with the Album of the Year Grammy -- some may have sympathized with Kanye a bit.)

But what could go possibly go down this year? It's hard to say -- the beginning of a new decade will inevitably pave the way for the years to come. The new classics (though I use the term loosely) will be made, the new fads will come and go, and life goes on. Still, one can't help but feel curiosity at what will spawn out of the VMAs and into pop culture -- especially since no host, presenters, or performers are listed. Only the nominees, the ones who were notable enough to make an impression. But who are these characters, the biggest entertainers in music?

Coming down from Canada came a squeaky-clean kid named Justin Bieber who impressed Usher so much, he was signed immediately; suddenly, Bieber fever raged throughout the States (as did the impossibly huge wave of hate that followed). Meanwhile, Lady Gaga became the reigning queen of pop radio -- Beyonce kindly passed the baton when the two collaborated for "Telephone." And though B.o.B and Hayley Williams pretended airplanes were shooting stars, Ke$ha took her party to the streets, making it sound like she wanted Gaga's crown for herself. Tough break, kid.

Maybe not shocking but still a surprise, 30 Seconds to Mars' "Kings and Queens" gets a nomination for Video of the Year. While actor/singer Jared Leto has directed some excellent videos (including the MTV2-Award winning "The Kill"), this is his band's first nomination for Best Video which alongside Florence and the Machine follows last decade's trend (minus a few years) for great but unlikely nominations in the category.

Lil Wayne's female partner-in-crime Nicki Minaj is also up for a few awards, while Jason Derulo comes out of nowhere with his Chris Brown-esque style and swagger (up against Nicki for Best New Artist). Perhaps most surprisingly of all this year, though, is Eminem's big comeback. While his previous album was a commercial success, there were some who saw it as just a rehash of old ideas and jokes, not as the epic comeback they wanted. With this year's "Recovery," Eminem silenced all (most) of his haters and critics, once again earning critical and commercial acceptance -- as well as having 9 VMA nominations, 2nd only to Gaga's 18.

There's always those people who claim that music nowaday sucks, or that the MTV Awards aren't 'real" music awards. Let them hold on to their Animal Collective and Led Zeppelin records -- this show is not for them. It is pop culture for the young and the young at heart (although parents should be strongly cautioned when watching the show). It is not meant for those who despise all that is popular music; it is meant for the music lovers who want mindless fun, for those of us not afraid to embrace the mainstream as it is. And if that's a sin, we will scream to the heavens that we refuse to repent! At least... not until it's over.